Have you ever wondered why the dog was barking up the wrong tree?
Because the cat climbed up the wrong tree.
Looking down at the dog, the cat said, "Purrr doggy, can't climb up the tree..."
But the dog kept barking, "Ruf! Ruf!"
Then the cat realized, "Oww, you meant the roof!"
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A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what’s on the top of a house?" "Roof!" the dog replies.
"Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds. "All dogs go ‘roof’."
"No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?" "Rough!" the dog answers.
The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience.
"No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you."
He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street.
And the dog turns to the guy and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"
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